The biggest elephant I have ever seen.

Dear reader,

There you go, the biggest elephant in my room or is it just a mass psychosis unfolding?

Since this site is a honest view on my experience in the school of life, and, therefore, maybe an accelerator for someone else their life trajectory, I would like to share my quite personal experience of one particular journey many fiction books can be written from. So before you jump to conclusions like so many do, I dare you to keep an open mind.

I haven’ t been writing anything for the last couple of months because of personal circumstances and obstacles I had to overcome. During the process of finishing my bachelor of economics, management and law, I have been forced into a psychiatric hospital because I was practising some capoeira, movement, acting and free running in public without enough clothing on! It really sickens me that this is enough reason to put someone into a forced medical treatment based upon the law BOPZ in The Netherlands. All though, I have to admit that my creative pursuits are a little out of the box, it does not mean I am psychotic, just a little wicked, that’s all.

My ghost trip adventures in the former brothel has come to an end and I would like to take this opportune moment to share my experiences of a psychiatric hospital. I do sincerely hope that others might be empowered to do things a little different if my life situations match those of yours and learn from my experiences, successes and mistakes. I think this is a worthwhile pursuit to follow, since as long as I am authentic, honest and creative in communicating through stories like these, others can reap the benefit of the flaws and successes I celebrate.

So the biggest challenge for me now is to overcome other people who think I am crazy and psychotic! That I have a vivid imagination, in love with movement and people, acting and arts and that I like to tell stories, does not mean you should take me seriously obviously… or should diagnose a person like myself as psychotic without actually getting to know the background of an individual. I took the time to write this article/essay because I want to be objective about my experiences here after a proper span of time. Hopefully this writing can encourage those who find themselves in similar life situations in Europe or the globe in which their freedoms are taken away because of some irrational reasoning. I will hopefully elaborate a bit during this article.

To be honest, It is quite difficult to continue following the ancient principle of self-governance/self-determination against an army of well intended people who think they know what is best for you. This is an ancient conversation of determination versus self-determination, the individual versus the collective et cetera. I believe that by having a Socratic conversation we can gap the clashes of the differences that occur because of the two opposing philosophies and learn to experience more territories of mutual understanding, and, therefore, positive synergy or win-win relationships in which 1+1=3 rather then negative synergy in which 1+1=A negative.

The four agreements of creativity and the Socratic ‘method’ or dialogue techniques are a great help and resource to create positive synergy in an environment or culture like that of a psychiatric hospital. At least it helps for me;

The four agreements;

  • Do not take anything personal (hardest one for me)
  • Always do your best
  • Do not assume
  • Be impeccable with ones word and act

Few examples of guidelines for having a good (Socratic) conversation are;

  • Seek for truth
  • Learn to listen
  • Be patient
  • Being able to switch perspective
  • Do not discuss, merely have a conversation
  • Think together, rather then winning the conversation
  • Be open minded

Here a link to a Dutch article that goes in-depth with the Socratic conversation;

So in the pursuit of governing oneself, one has to have the freedom to make individual choices and mistakes to learn from. Therefore, the philosophy of self-determination requires enough freedom, proper mentor-ship, responsibility and self-reflection for it too work properly. Without the necessary ingredient of agency to make mistakes, I believe one cannot develop him or herself by use of experimentation and self-determination. Following this rational, you need to have some sort of breathing room in social complexity for things to emerge naturally based on self-organising principles shortly described above. This philosophy of free will and freedom of choice should not be seen as a justification, for example, criminal behaviour, but does include criminal behaviour in the process of learning how to make refined choices in ones life. If criminal behaviour is marked by pain, then the ‘pain teacher’ will present itself automatically for the agents in the system in order to readjust their perspectives and decision making process. If not, then that means that criminal behaviour is rewarding in and of itself or that people simply enjoy pain, which I believe is not a valid statement in creating a quality life. As long as we define criminal behaviour by the level of pain you are inflicting upon another agent in the system, pain is, I think, a good method of measuring the level of crime and quality of life we experience as sentient beings. As an example, when one experiences pain, he or she is at some level able to respond and act to lessen this experience of pain by making refined choices based upon the feedback one receives from our environments. These feedback loops is what any reasonable agent in the system can use in order to grow in understanding, and, therefore, the ability to act differently to enhance the quality of ones life. Pain is, therefore, precedent for making empowered choices in the future, or better yet, using ones imagination to simulate scenario’s, without having to learn them the hard, painful way.

However, here I don’t want to talk about criminal law, but the (remainders) of the welfare state in The Netherlands, and especially the law BOPZ. I say remainders, because in times of potential economic and political turmoil in Europe, and the West in general, one cannot expect the welfare state to continue as it is right now. It is simply too costly and in many ways inefficient too have a lastly life during our time and age. Many find themselves in co-dependent relationships with a system that is designed too keep you stuck if you do not have an intrinsic motivation to find an occupation. To me this is the greatest flaw of the welfare state, in that it breeds conditions in which co-dependency occurs which is counterproductive for its purposes. It only works if you mentor individuals in actualising themselves so that they can occupy themselves.

Here it is all explained in English;

A few bullets to summarise the law BOPZ;

  • In the Netherlands, you can only be admitted against your will if you have a mental disorder (that has been diagnosed by a psychiatrist) and there is (potential) danger to your safety or the safety of others.
  • If you disagree with the judge’s decision, you cannot appeal to the higher courts. You can lodge an appeal for cessation with the Supreme Court. This is a difficult procedure; ask your attorney for more information.
  • Compulsory admission needs too happen with good reason. In my personal circumstance I think there wasn’t enough reason to do it, I just have a wicked mindset as an athlete and creative person. However, what for some is sane for the other is insane. For example, the Wim Hof method could be seen as enough reason maybe in this Käse to execute this form of law on a person. From my view there needs to be a serious indication that one is performing self-destructive behaviour towards him or herself or towards another sentient being in claiming enough reason to violate someone’s personal domain of freedom.
  • By co-operating, you can often prevent the need for drastic measures. (This is very important in my experience, you can get out much quicker if you learn to co-operate and show some diplomatic strength in ones relationships, or just climb out and go back in your cage before they find out) Diplomatic strength is definitely key here I think.
  • Before someone can start treating you, you need to give your consent. This consent principle is very important in my view, cause if you just give your consent, you can fall pray for treatments that won’t work or even have counterproductive effects long and/or short term. In general the consent principle is key in conversation and cooperating. As long as you do not have a proper objection against a statement, you probably give in by consent. So that’s a fair game I think. This is especially important in considering taking pharmaceuticals, in which, I think, it is generally accepted knowledge that these industries are heavily inclined towards profit and give at best short term relief. However, being guided and supported by the right medicines is something I give credit too as well.
The welfare state in The Netherlands is a complicated system marked by rules, bureaucracy and a lot of earning models that are slowly changing or disappearing in our times of regime shift in Europe and The Netherlands. In my view it is a system destined to change under our spirit of time. Besides, I have pointed out many times on this website the differences of contemporary mainstream pharmaceutical healing versus holistic/organic healing. An indigenous shaman or holistic practitioner would treat a psychotic/or heavily burned out person differently then mainstream Western science and healing does. It would be nice if both of these worlds could combine their efforts in providing the best healing approach per individual so that both worlds can reunite their forces and again, learn from the value in their differences of thought instead of rallying up against those differences. Whereas Western science diagnose my person-hood as psychotic, a shaman would probably diagnose it as an opportunity for psychic release, catharsis and mental emancipation. Rather then focusing upon the negative fearful aspects of the human psyche, why not see a psychotic period as something potentially constructive and life enhancing in ones life? Undergoing such a horrific experience could actually be used as an ‘edge’ in the game of life. With the right mindset, treatment and proper guidance and initiation during such a turbulent time, one can truly transform and turn out better, rather then being stuck in pharmaceuticals and become a zombie or a professional victim in life.
It is a very natural part of life to be dealt with challenges, in my case existential, psychological and social challenges. Therefore, I find it to be strange that certified doctors are unwilling to get to know me as an sentient human being, but judge me based upon assumptions and a lack of a proper investigation in what the causes of my unidentified psychoses are, like could you even be more vague? Such an attitude only signals that it is mostly just business treating a person like a business case instead of a sentient being. The lack of such a proper individual investigation originates out of the complexity of the welfare systems and our trust in it. A system can become so advanced, complex, accepted and rigid that doctors are relying upon the systems and protocols rather then using their intelligence to make a well-rounded judgement per each case.
Personally, I am not psychotic according to my own conc, I just stretched my limits too far ending up with a mental breakdown, insomnia et cetera with the consequences that I acted out some weird and abnormal behaviour that does not fit the norm, yet was not harmful. So then what about the real psychopaths running the peacock show?  Not fitting the norm could be seen as criminal only that it does not fit the norm. If being a little eccentric a crime then what has culture become?  This does not mean one is actually committing a crime by hurting someone or anything. Calling it an unidentified psychosis should not make a case to take away someones individual liberties, and yet that is what has happened. So based upon irrational fears and suspicions about someones code of conduct they can basically take away someones individual liberty nowadays. This should not be enough reason to do it, since suspicions and irrational fears that things might go wrong is not enough reason.

This sort of stuff has more to do with a lack of mutual understanding, miscommunication, xenophobia and knowledge then that it is a real threat or dis-ease. My behaviour is a violation of a generally accepted social code of conduct that does not necessarily has to be the code of conduct which is the right thing to do in our time and age. Personally, I like to go on adventures, and yes, how can an adventure be any fun without a little danger? It has to do with personality differences that clash together if persons are not aware of their differences, but instead are afraid to face them, or bridge them in mutual understanding. Following this rational, then throw all pioneers in asylums and see where ones society ends up?

This sort of stuff is probably why people like Socrates hated democracy, cause if the demo(n)s turn out to be wrong, then you are dependent upon the so called ‘wicked’ or Renaissance individuals in a system/society to figure things out and carry others along. Personally, I am a promoter of individual potential and actualisation in the sense that we are all ‘snowflakes’. That there exist an unique blueprint for how that individual can be developed towards his or hers brightest potential, a blueprint that needs to be discovered by making mistakes, learning from them and having proper guidance. And exactly that kind of originality can be seen as a threat or diagnosed as psychotic behaviour in the current system in The Netherlands where the system seems to be at hand, not the agents participating in it.

So without that necessary freedom, one cannot learn through visceral life experiences how he or she can propel oneself into a right trajectory. A social code of conduct is, off course, not created without reason, and there is enough reason to create a code in the world we live in. In a world that is currently, and in our history, burned and marked with terror, war and pain. This is why I take insane high levels of response-ability about my own health, security and education. Freedom requires self-ownership, otherwise we fall pray for the temptations life also has to offer us. To me this is simply a part of life to be taken seriously, but only in once own sphere. I have given up the desire to own others and change others, cause I know I can only change and own myself. That being said, why follow the social conduct and fall pray for in group preferences if innovation is called for in our times of regime shift, global challenges and turbulence, especially for my generation, since I am only 24 (29 now). During chaotic times of regime shift, people can easily cling to fundamentalism and radical forms of conduct while that shouldn’t be necessary when one can remain calm during the political (and economic) storm in Europe. For example, the fear of terrorism enlarges when we give it more energy to persist, and express more fear due to the attention we give it. The same principle can be said about the malfunctions about the welfare system. I think we need to give our focused attention in finding solutions rather then treating symptoms, of which an example is anti-psychotic pharmaceuticals. It won’t give a lasting transformation for the individual, it just gives another dependency upon the welfare system that feeds into the capitalistic and financial systems.

Since I can now relate to such irrational fears on a more personal level, cause now my person hood is apparently a danger. I had to really come up with all kinds of new ‘trickster’ moves to protect my individual freedoms for as far that is still possible based upon the law I am dealt with. It is really a new chapter in my life after living in a spooky and adventurous brothel(which was a really strange experience). Who can say that they moved in one year from a former monastery, to a former brothel, to a psychiatric hospital which is basically a glass castle and tell the tale in good humour?


Don’t get me wrong in judging this institute badly, since I can greatly appreciate the facilities and service of these people, but it does make you tick in a weird way to be honest. I mean all my roommates all have their uniqueness, which is violating the sacred societal code of conduct obviously, hence the reason why we are all locked here and diagnosed as psychotic et cetera. Plus, all this comfort and attention can make someone a spoiled brat. Such a scenario is only possible in The Netherlands or other nations like the Scandinavian countries that still have a welfare state, or New Zealand

I am not surprised that such laws are actually in place in Europe and The Netherlands, since you kinda have to enforce strict codes of conduct if you want to make the globalisation movement and democratic propaganda program work on a larger scale. The larger the empire, the more likely strict codes of conduct has to be in place so that order is kept within reasonable boundaries. However, what if these boundaries are not reasonable anymore, but should be stretched or reevaluated for the sake of individual and collective prosperity. Doe eens gek zal ik zeggen.

Besides, you have systems based upon irrational fears that something might happen, rather then having open and dynamic systems in place to judge an individual based upon context rather then following a protocol. Appropriately judging oneself, let alone another person, requires high amounts of intelligence, and if that intelligence is not in place by the authorities who can enforce such powers like imprisoning me, then you create potential rebellion and prison break series!

How can you ever expect a free bird like myself to stay here any longer then that I desire? (written in past tense now) Not only is my domain of freedom violated, also my domain of health is violated because they can enforce you pharmaceutical drugs based upon a diagnose which is based upon suspicions, not facts. Therefore, I can generalise that we live in a time and age in which freedoms are getting less, and that it is even possible to imprison a person like myself based upon false acquisitions by the state, or rather the individuals who think they have the authority to do that. What it does, is that it creates damage. The violation of freedom based upon false acquisitions and irrational fears is one thing, the other thing is the use of coercion and force to drug people into pharmaceutical zombies. Aren’t we aware that most big pharma is just a gigantic business model? How ignorant of the people to continue investing in such a model, even when such individuals are aware of it. (I have changed my opinion here slightly since the meds do work to guide people with similar health challenges, however, it could very well be that the negative side effects outweighs the short term advantages greatly.

Really, the first few days I have been living as a ‘gorilla’ (wait until these marvellous beasts gain consciousness) here, because my domain of freedom was violated. Off course, it is not a smart idea to imprison a person like myself based upon the rational described above. And I can say that acting out my gorilla sub-personality did not help in getting free earlier! It is much smarter to be diplomatic about it, all though, that is easy to say, harder to do. We are still part animal, part human.

To be honest, I am really not impressed by how The Netherlands is coping with the people who are struggling with mental disease. Again, a real shaman/doctor would look very different to a person with a mental disease. As I have been sharing on this website before, one has to have the abstraction level to think in systems if you really want to make a sustainable transformation, could that be health or finances. One has to have the helicopter view, and then zoom in to work at root cause level. Even this mindset is what is lacking in one of the government funded mental health institutes I am currently at. (it is easy to give critique though, my current health-plan is much more smoothly orchestrated)

I can write whole books about what I have experienced here the last few months. Not only is the state enforced to imprison innocent people like myself, it also cost a lot of money to imprison people unnecessarily!

Finished on the day I am ‘free’ again, since honestly who is truly free still? 

I hope it was an interesting read, it sure was an interesting experience for me to be here, and that this rant might be useful for some other folks around the globe.



p.s. for those herbals, just throwing down some CBD oil to balance the THC works wonders.

p.s.s. Obviously I shamelessly share this article cause I think in a world in which mass psychosis could be a thing, I would like to embody a path in which people do not have to become zombies in order to remain so called functional.

Author: Kees Berg

I'm a practitioner of holistic healing, a student of social-economical systems and like to move around throughout the day to write during the night. Currently living in the energetic city of Breda. Hit me up on the street or come by for a visit at my place if you dare or find some other way, or just telepathically, depends on the circumstances. It is pretty hectic these strays. Can enjoy adventurous travels or just some couch hanging obviously with a nice snack, refer to exchange list. Which is a hidden pade obviously..... Cherios, Sneek.

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